I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
