My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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