bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
