Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
