After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
as a side note pls kill me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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