redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
