Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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