I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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