Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
