i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Even my vagina gasped.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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