dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
