I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
