if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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