nut hugger
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
