I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
