Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
