Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
