That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
