He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
