You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The best revenge is premature balding
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
