Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
