he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
