hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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