i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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