yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
