Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i now understand why vodka
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
