We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
