Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
