Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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