would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
