I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
