The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
