you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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