not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
