i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
