omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
