You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
