So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
