Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
