Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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