Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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