you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Blow job season was short but glorious.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
