new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
