let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
