I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
