I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
