if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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