we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
