nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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