it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
