Me. At least after what I've been through.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Mom said you looked used
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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