i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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